


I Miss You

by cabylemonade



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26197192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabylemonade/pseuds/cabylemonade
Summary: Hey Marco. It's been a while, hm?Disclaimer: Sorry if there are any mistakes, it's my first time translating a one-shot to english~ If you see any of them, feel free to leave a comment ;)
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	I Miss You

Hey Marco.  
It's been a while, hm?

That asshole of Eren persuaded me to wrote you a letter.  
I though it wasn't useful, now that you're not there anymore.  
But he said it could help me.  
Help me for what?  
Mourn?  
I don't know if I want to mourn.  
In the end, I don't think so.  
I'm not ready.  
I'm not ready to let you go, even though you already did.  
I don't want to say goodbye, it would mean that you're really not there anymore, I know it sounds childish, but I'm afraid to forget you.  
To forget what you meant for me.  
And everything you mean to me today. 

I'm sure you understand me.  
You always did, and better than myself.  
You always been the first to follow and support me.  
You always believed in me, in my leadership skills.  
Maybe that's why you disappeared.  
Maybe trusting me wasn't a good idea.  
I feel so guilty.

At first, when I lost your beautiful eyes during this battle, I though you were safe.  
That you were somewhere, helping people, like you always did, but far away from titans, far away from war and death.  
But I think that, at this moment, you were already gone.  
You already left.  
It's only now that I realise, I understand, you did help people. You sacrificed yourself to save them. To save their life. To do what you though was the right thing to do. 

I was in chock when, the day after, I saw your inanimate body on the floor.  
It was so unreal.  
I dont even remember this moment, it's unclear, like if my unconscious self censored this memory.  
Like if my brain didn't want me to remember the last time I saw you. 

I should have been at your place this day.  
I should have died instead of you.  
You didn't deserve a titan to kill you. Not like this.  
You didn't deserve to be left behind, in this street, alone. 

You deserved to live. 

Some days after that, we burnt our comrades bodies.  
You were among them.  
I remember picking a piece of bone and saying something like I didnt even know if it was yours or not.  
Your body disappeared in the flames, with a part of me.  
You took my heart with you.  
A huge sadness took place in my chest. 

This day, I cried for the first time. 

And I changed my mind.  
I will do everything to be part of the Scout Regiment.  
You knew I wanted to be part of the Military Police Brigade, but I think it's the right thing to do.  
Today, I have to fight. For you.  
To save this shitty world.  
The world that you wanted to save.  
You couldn't realise your dream, so I will realise it for you.

I keep reminding you.  
Sometimes, I still hear your voice, but the reality reminds me, you're not there.  
Sometimes, I wake up in the night, when my memory and my thoughts slowly kill me.  
I keep overthinking. What if you were still here? Would you be proud of me? You probably would you always been, whatever I did.  
But you're not there. I live thinking about you every minute, every second.  
But you're not there. 

I still miss you.  
Days after days, I walk alone, without you by my side.  
Trying to realise a dream. Your dream.  
Thanks to you, I know what I have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!  
> That's my very first english one-shot!  
> This one is very angsty, hope it looks fine!  
> And sorry if there are mistakes, that's my first time translating french to english ^^


End file.
